we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
