I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
