It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
