feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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