Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
