i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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