There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
