Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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