The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
wow bdsm is so cute
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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