Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
being pregnant is like rehab
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
