I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
