oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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