Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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