Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
