she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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