she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
