he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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