It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
