I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
