why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
