I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
