please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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