I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
