my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
