So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
