i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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