Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
