The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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