First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
