I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
