like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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