i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
