Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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