haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
