No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
