So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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