I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My cat gives me a boner
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
