is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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