you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
