He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
