buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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