Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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