I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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