I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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