I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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