Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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