Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
