Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
