she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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