i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
