Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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