onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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