My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
